Give Thanks

I can not believe that it is Thanksgiving already. I feel like Easter was yesterday. I am off this week, doing some things around the house to get it ready to be sold (it is on the market so if you know anyone who wants to buy a great house in Port Orange FL for a great price holla). I had a meeting about my business, (which is also for sale), and then just helped Jack around the house and played with the kids. I love days like this. This has been a rough year. I have gone through some things that I am sure are going to help shape my future, but at the same time, stuff I NEVER EVER want to deal with again or would ever wish on anyone else. I really believe that the crap we walk though in life can help us or kill us depending on how we respond. I hear a lot of people saying that 2007 sucked. While it will not go down as the best year of our lives, we can not hate the process. God uses stuff we go through to form us, to mold us, and to help us become better. I am thankful that God has stripped me this year. I am thankful that financially this has been a rough year, it has taught me so much about money. I am thankful for the fact at times I feel God is not even in the same universe as me, it makes me chase him harder. I am glad jackie and i have gone through some crap, it has brought us closer together. I am also glad that 2007 is almost over and that 2008 provides a lot of great new adventures for our lives. So this week, embrace time with your family. Eat the H out of some turkey. Love hard. Embrace the bad and let it build for your future. In life we are never promised that it will be easy, but we are promised that the season will eventually change. Here is to the lessons we have learned, will learn, and the promise of tomorrow. 

The Power of Reality

An amazing thing has happened. In allowing myself to be more real, more transparent, and more vulnerable, I have allowed God to create an atmosphere where people can grow. Understand I take NO credit for this. Vulnerability is a weakness not a strength in my life. Being real is hard for me to do. I am an introvert. I am someone who internalizes everything. In fact, I tend to allow for my issues to be worked out inside usually before I ever even alert someone there is an issue. In the past by the time someone found out I had a problem, it was already fixed. So to say that being vulnerable or authentic or real or whatever you want to call it is comfortable or easy for me would be a big joke. I  had a breakthrough in my life about 2 weeks ago, and an experience a week after that that was like taking spiritual human growth hormones. When that happened I realized I had to start being completely real. This revelation has opened up a side of me that was never before accessed. A few things have happened since then: 

• I have a new accountability in my life to keep it real. Jackie (who is now blogging) has really started calling me out on being real. Part of this is probably what prevented me from being real in the past. However, I have learned that an uncomfortable real is better than a comfortable plastic. 
• Reality has caused me to be uncomfortable and has caused others around me to be uncomfortable. I think this is kind of good though. Growth causes you to be uncomfortable and thus may challenge your “relationships” and the comfort of people around you. 
• Reality has caused me to face and confront some things in my life. A few of these things are pride, insecurity, a man pleasing spirit, the desire to be liked at any cost, etc….just to be real. 
• Reality has created a buzz in my life. I have had more comments on this blog about the stuff I have written from my heart in the past few weeks than anything that I have ever written before. I get at least 1 email a day where a person is telling me God has used the mess and confusion and broken places of my life to minister to them. I have even had people walk up to me and tell me…man your blog is helping me so much. Is that not what life is about? Life is about helping people get better….right? It is so amazingly funny to me that we continue to all live a life full of masks and mirrors and do not allow for our things to be the medicine that heals a hurting world. I remember years ago talking with my friend, Jason, and he would recite story after story about how brokenness was the doorway to breakthrough in his life. How the best songs he would write would come from a broken place. How the presence of God could show up the strongest in his brokenness because when he was broken he could not be proud. AMAZING.

So here is the deal. I am doing my best to be real and to be the best I can be. I can not promise I am going to always live up to the standard that I am trying to set in my life. I am human not divine. I need grace and mercy. I know God is doing a lot in my life right now. He is moving.  It is probably going to help some people, hurt others, confuse some, including me, and ultimately force me into my purpose.  As I stated a few days ago, I am addicted to God’s presence. I fall out of it sometimes and fight like heck to say in it as much as possible. I am human. I need grace and mercy. I can’t wait to see what happens next. I have a new rhythm…its an unforced rhythm of Grace. 

Hosanna and how God moves

It is finally night. I hear crickets outside the window. PEACE! Today was loud…VERY LOUD! But in the noise I heard His voice. I went to play hoops @ 5:45 this morning. On my way i had United in my CD player. I am an XM guy so listening to a cd feels SO oldskool to me!I listened to this song probably 20 times today:

Verse 1

I see the king of gloryComing down the clouds with fire

The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes

I see his love and mercy Washing over all our sin

The people sing, the people sing

Chorus

Hosanna, hosanna Hosanna in the highest

Verse 2

I see a generation Rising up to take the place

With selfless faith, with selfless faith

I see a new reviva lStaring as we pray and seek

We’re on our knees, we’re on our knees

Bridge

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart for what is yoursEverything I am for your kingdom’s cause

As I walk from earth into eternity

 Hosanna  

OKAY! that song jacked me. Selfless faith. What a concept. It is not about me. It is not about you. It is not about them…its about HIM. Make it about him and the rest will work out. Open my eyes to things unseen. Show me how to love like you have loved me. Break my heart for what breaks yours.  THATS WHAT I MUST HAVE. That sums up what I have been saying in my blogs since Sunday. That is what my post from yesterday was about….i want to feel what God feels. I can not settle for a few hours of God time…I need him continually and if it hurts or stretches me, or makes you uncomfortable about me, well we will all be okay.

God is moving and I want to be where he is at…doing what he is doing.  During the national prayer breakfast Bono repeated a story that was told to him by “a very wise man”: So often we pray that God will bless what we are doing. If you want God’s blessing go to where he is already moving, get involved with the things God is doing, they are already blessed. God cares about the hurting, the lost, the widows, the poor. I have a new compassion for these things as I get older and take less of the attention to myself and put more of it on HIM. I want to feel how God feels.

Today I was walking with a friend and a younger boy came by. He was awkward. He had a back pack on. He was insecure, I could see in his face that he was a little shook that this big guy and me where in his path. His glasses where not on straight. His shirt was balled up under the strap of his bag. I put my hand on his shoulder and said…”whats up homey”…he stammered for a minute and said: “hi”. Then darted off into the lunch room. As we walked away I said..man I feel for that poor kid. I have been praying for him all day. Tomorrow I hope to run into him again…God cares about him and wants to see him live full of confidence and not ashamed, scared or insecure. I know how that boy feels, and if ever given the chance again…I am going to tell him all about the destiny God has for his life. 

So as you can see, my mind is floating tonight. I hope this blog made sense. If not..there is always tomorrows. 

In closing, the Kanye West album leaked today. IT IS HOT! 

ask and you shall receive

The bible says ask and you shall receive. I am living proof. Over the course of the past week I have been being stretched on relationships and authenticity. I have posted some things that I have learned and said repeatedly I want to know more, learn more, be stretched. Yesterday these two subjects collided like never before in my life. Imagine what happens when you are driving down the interstate and you hit a love bug. That is what happened to me yesterday. 

The relationship portion was the lead in to the authenticity aspect. I friend of mine called me on the phone and said he needed to speak with me. I met him and he sat me down and said some amazing hard things to me. He called me out on so many levels. He challenged me on so many issues in my life. He even went as far as to tell me about issues I have dealt with for YEARS that most people have NO clue about. God had to tell him about the stuff he spoke to me about because there is no other way he could have had a clue about some of the things we talked about. In addition to being amazingly hard on me, he was also very encouraging. He told me what God had told him about my future. About what God has planned for my life and about where my “Destiny Road” leads. Destiny Road will be another post for sure (thanks KiKi).

The authenticity portion of this post comes in my response. I had to choose sitting there getting kicked in the teeth if I was going to allow myself to be real and deal with these issues or if I was going to embrace the mask that would have been a MUCH easier way out. I do not write this to boast of my authentic ways. I am striving to find authenticity every day. The truth is I am a skeptical, cynical, prideful, hypocritical person who is just trying to figure it all out. I write this to encourage you to be real even when it hurts. I explained to my friend where in our conversation he was nailing me. I accepted his wisdom and guidance on some issues. I incorporated change in my life. In addition allowed myself to start confronting some things in my life that are holding me back from achieving all God has for me.  Now in the oxymoron of all oxymoron’s I don’t feel it is appropriate to lay out all these issues on the freaking internet. Im just not ready to be THAT real. Thats just not how I roll. I have spoke with some people and have started the process of recovery for myself. I am blessed with some great relationship and some great people who are willing to work to help me achieve all God has for my life. 

Be real. Be honest. Don’t buy into the norm. Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated. Sometimes life is going to hurt. Sometimes you will encounter emotions you have never felt, and it will suck, but it is for your betterment. Be brave. There is a road that will take you to places you could never travel on your own. The toll to travel this road is not cheap but the ride will change your life. 

Change

I love when people embrace change. Change is a tough thing. We get comfortable, secure or whatever and when we do we lose site of the very things that we live for. Change stretches you. It makes you step out of your comfort zone and do something that you normally may not like. One of the funniest things about change is that it takes courage. Courage to allow people to talk about you because you are willing to change things. Courage to embrace the new or the unknown. Courage to go against the flow or the expectations that people have set on you. Change does not have to be a massive shift, it can be as simple as just breaking up your routine. Change breeds haters. Last night Jackie and I where talking about how much we have changed since we met, got married, etc. It is funny. Changing things give you a new perception. Change allows you to see who really supports you and who is just using you to make them better. change stretches you, your relationships, and your life. I love change. I love changing things just to change them sometimes. Change breeds success too. Dont be afraid of change. Try some things. Push yourself. Allow yourself to do something that you think wont work, just to see if it does. Change is hard but without some change, you may never find your real destiny.

Camp Meeting 2

The second night of camp meeting was by far and away my favorite night. I am driven by a sermon that provides me the ability to take some action points away with me. It is important to me to be able to get better in life. Hype does not play big for me. Now, that is not saying that it is for everyone, or that if you like a more “charged” atmosphere that it is any less deep. Just of me, for my style, I know what I dig. Gary Oliver was articulate, passionate, and real. He shared from his hurt. He articulated his pain, his revelation, and the processes in his life. I was moved by his wisdom and by his ability to connect as a communicator. What was really cool was even though he lost his luggage, he got up to speak right when he walked in the door, an hour late, and he was wearing jeans and a shirt as opposed to the suits that everyone else had on, he just got up and did what he did. Here are some thoughts from his sermon. 

•  Peoples lives have a central theme, given by god, that they always come back too. Your life will always revert back to that theme, it is in your DNA.
• Tabernacle was built around the altar like our lives should be built around God.
• East is symbolic of fresh and rising
• Tabernacle had one door to limit access. We have to limit access to our life. 
• Gen. 1:26 – We rule over the fish (emotions), birds (thoughts), cattle (substinance), creeping things (demons/spirits)
• God is 3 things: spirit, love, and life
• we are created in his image, spirit , love, and life
• we where created to rule and not to ruled. we can not allow people and circumstances to control us. 
• control by people is witchcraft. no one should control you.
• anything that you allow to be over you, you are in worship to…
• get your emotions in control
• control your thoughts
• as a m an thinks, so is he
• get hold of where God is trying to take you
• learn to take over
• strong holds keep you in not down. 
• 3 things paul says can keep you in bondage: vain imaginations, high and lofty things that lift themselves up against the knowledge you know of God to be and NOT taking every thought captive to the lordship of christ. 
• blessings are not things. things are byproducts of a blessed life. 
• blessings are things spoken…say what you heard so you can see what you said. 
• you would be amazed at what you could do if you would get control in your life
• rule over the earth starts with rule over you
• you never know a sacrifice of praise until you give up something you love.

This service will create several blogs for my life. i learned so much through this revelation and through the authenticity that Gary Oliver was willing to allow himself to have.

Tim Storey

Tim Storey spoke @ all three of our services Sunday morning. Here are some notes and thoughts:

•  Life is about rhythms. If you remember the other day, I wrote a blog on “Learning The Unforced Rhythms Of Life”, Tim validated how life is a rhythm and how important it is to make sure you learn to live in the rhythm. 
• Exodus 2…Moses was living in his rhythm until he killed a man. When that happened, it jacked his rhythm. He was then chased. The funny thing about Moses being chased was that those who where chasing him end up dead, yet he never stopped running. What are we running from in our past that has already died?
• You make bad decisions when you wonder and wander.
• If you are a dreamer, you have to surround yourself with other dreamers. Who are the dreamers you are surrounding yourself with…
• God will make a demand on who you REALLY are in order to call it forth. 
• You are called to start creating shade for others.
• Palm trees in Lebanon show up in places they should not naturally be, so they can cast shade
• Miracles come in clusters. They are always either coming or going. 
• your miracle is in motion. it is a process of moving, flow, and progress
• Supernatural is more real than the natural
• dream with a dreamer
• Your capacity is changing

I was SO impacted by the dreamer concept. So often we are categorized by those comfortable with us and are not allowed to dream because we buy into how we are defined by others. I love being around dreamers. I love being around people with vision, purpose, and dreams. I have dreams that I believe are God given and have to be birthed. I have to be surrounded by other dreamers. What God has for YOU and what he has for me is going to be amazing.